I can't believe I haven't posted in my fitness journal since last October. Well, actually I can, it's been a whirlwind of a time.
Since then, I started working full-time again, then lost that job 3 months into it, then started a new job a week afterwards, then was in a car accident a month and a half after starting the new job!
All through this, I was adjusting and re-adjusting the medications I was using to treat my OCD, and then of course started on painkillers after car accident.
Unfortunately, I lost a lot of my body tone, fitness, and strength. My joints and muscles have sustained new injuries and old injuries (from my 1st car accident) have flared up again.
And in the past 9 months, I have gained 20 lbs. :( :( :(
Which means of the 85lbs I originally set out to lose, I'm now back around the -15lbs mark. I had reached -65lbs in 2006, only to come all the way back here.
I was going to give up completely. I even tore down the inspirational "You've done it once, you can do it again!" statement and picture and weight chart next to my bedroom mirror.
But instead, I think I'm going to just start small and do what I can.
Because doing something is better than doing nothing right? Even if it may not be possible for me to lose weight right now because of my car accident injuries, maybe I can "turn the tides" a little and at least stop gaining. I'm so tired of how I look and feel. I miss being fitter and slimmer, more comfortable in my clothes and in my own body. I miss being able to keep up with my kids better. I miss feeling more confident. I miss those clothes I bought for myself as a treat after I lost all the weight and have since had to put away. I hate that I have almost no pictures of myself from a recent family vacation, and I hate how much I dislike the two pictures I do have.
So stay tuned for this fitness journal to re-open. :) I'm thinking of transferring it over to Wordpress (like I did with my everyday blog
) and hosting it on my website. But I can still set it up to post here to this LJ account as well so it will show up in people's friends pages.
I intend to follow the same format I did when I lost all the weight in 2005/2006. A "Fitness Phase" lasting 10 weeks each. Weigh-ins each week. Goals for fitness activities and eating set out at the beginning of each phase. Measurements every 4 weeks.
It may take me longer than it did last time and I won't have the same advantages (having a baby to knock off the first 10lbs easy!, breastfeeding) and I will have other factors slowing me down (medications including anti-depressants, new car accident injuries), but maybe I can do it again!?
It may feel a little like starting from scratch. I am the same size now that I was 3 years ago before losing all the weight. But maybe my body will remember what it was like to do that. Maybe all the things I learned about fitness and about my body will help me along the way.
I took a "before" picture today, and I truly hope that's what it becomes. I want to be able to put another "after" picture beside it of a slimmer, fitter, healthier me!
If you'd like to join me on this journey, just keep 'on reading! :) I'll take all the encouragement I can get! :)